My Idiosyncrasy

this should be an easy talk to unfold since i only have to look deep down and examine myself… thoroughly and think about the bright side ei? but now that im unto it i dont know why im lost for words… meh! the usual! but first of all i would like to pin out that i am not a narcissist, okaaaay? i am loving myself but not enough that’s the only thing i think about. but as part of the rehabilitation process, this idea sprung even before i had the realization that you must first accept who you are before you wish to change. growing up and not being socially acceptable by a lot of people, led me shall we say to a lot of self- doubt road and more self-loathing discoveries. that, however, did not excluded me from enhancing myself, and i owe a lot of this personal advancement to the suffering i have to endured whilst i was away from home, working abroad and living with a very diverse culture and mixing with different nationalities. i have to say i am proud with my oriental, diverse disposition now than i ever had 10 years ago. but enough of this long introduction, let’s get down to the countdown:

/10/i love that i can create from scratch. be it food, art, outfit, story etc…. i think it stems out from the fact that i have art teacher for parents and i grew up seeing how they can create so much with so little. i consider it a gift that im able to whip up just about anything if i just put myself into it. should go straight down to my resume as a skill dont you think? my friends could attest to it and the best part about it is that i can share it with them. just give me the tools, or actually anything that may seem of no value at first and i can guarantee you something will be born out of it.

/9/i am fidelity freak. loyalty is the best policy. i have never really liked a lot of things/ people , but when i do i stick to it like glue. i always believe that people come into your life not by mere coincidence. of course, it shouldnt really stop me from meeting new ones but im a keeper that way.

/8/ FLASH is my name and speed is my game. Over a couple of years on the job and this you can count on me that whatever task handed down on me, I can do it with maximum capacity for accomplishment. My downtime may be practically consistent but I somehow make up for it by being fast.

/7/i am not head-turner and that’s okay. most people that truly had encounter with me had either find me amusing or too-much to handle. i take pride in knowing that either way i am not typically boring. i have lived up to my name – CHARISMA. not a stereotype, second-hand version, replica or wanna be of someone else. I am my own. proven and tested.

/6/which leads me to the next best thing about me – my name. I am saying this with utmost honesty and humility that whenever i wear my name badge and im the cashier, i always and i mean always get compliments from customers. they would marvel over the meaning of my name and go on asking me where I’m from. Im delighted its not the usual Filipino name. But the best encounter I had yet and the one who actually got it right for the first time is this Greek man with his daughter who told me what my name means in their language and i bursted Finally! someone got the meaning right! my parents named me Charisma because after boring 3 sons, i came in the picture and im suppose to be a ” gift “. so they say. during my elementary days, my classmate would always tease me because my name is strange thus equivocally, i am a strange kid. that is why i decided to make up my own nickname CHAREN. i hate it when you misspell it. that goes to show things work out for the best and you will never really know.

/5/ Im a very determined, set-on-high kind of person. If I put myself into doing something, i will really do it. like when the time, i was into philately, so i gathered all my parents snail mail, and painstakingly gathered all the old stamps, dusty or dirty. or when i thought growing flowers were the best idea, so i watered a new-planted sunflower seed everyday until the first bud bloomed. i could enumerate all the endeavors that i had done since i was young and i can assure you. i pretty did well. when i started to go to the gym and exercise and shred all the fats or baby fats. from 55 to 45 kilos. goal-oriented as i am.

/4./ my to-do list obssession is something that has kept me on track. ever since college i would write up my daily adventures, little achievements and daily highlights on pieces of paper and every now and then i would scroll and remember the moments. it helps me organize my thoughts, my outlook, my plans and no matter how i look at it, although life doesnt go the way i want it to be specifically, still ill never leave/live without a pad and a pen.

/3./ when i said i’d travel, so i did. one of my motto is : ” she believe she could so she did”. and so i did. yearly, i go to a place[ country] I havent been before.
sure, it takes a lot of effort and money but its all worth it. i get to fulfill my lifelong dream of travelling around the world one country at a time. in the name of having fun, i am introduced to a whole different race, culture, history altogether. It is so humbling and fulfilling to know that in this universe there are a lot of people with different struggles and different background, but they or we all want the same thing. in all my travels, i only learned one thing – we dont want to be lonely. and we’d do everything that we can to defy that.

/2./ kids love me. i can always be myself when im around them. i think maybe their innocence is what draws me to them. i am not saying i can put up with all the noise and mess they bring but they make a better company than adults. im just saying 🙂 i boast of the fact that when i used to usher the youth in my local church, i take delight mentoring them.

/1./ most of all, on pretty rough days, I can remind myself that my record for survival is 100% up until today and that is pretty much impressive! with all the miry clay ,bullcrap i have experienced in the past, here i am, standing still. stronger. my rate of tolerance has increased, my pain threshold has deepened and most of all my faith in God intensified. You know, i always think to myself which makes me so grateful, that my spiritual journey is so unique, so artistically fashioned in a way that i can never call it mundane, boring or lifeless. my life has been so enriched that could have never been formed without the ugly suffering that patched me on the edges. sure, my path had been so different from others. I am no average disciple and i believe thats what makes me special. Much is given, much is required. i digress nothing. and with this i will end with Saint Paul’s word in Corinthians 4:16-17 ” So we do not lose heart, though out outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.

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