2 months ago I was lying wrecked on my bed. There was this unquenched thirst in my soul I have been longing for the longest time. The feeling that’s slowly buried. Alarmed- thinking to myself how I miss being a stranger in a place. To travel- I have been homesick for a place I’ve never been into and yes the fear that I wouldn’t be able to resuscitate the feeling of getting lost in the right direction.
But not too long ago out of the blue my boss summoned me to prepare all miscellaneous, pack my bags and meet them in our headquarters in Tokyo. It took me days to finally register the whole thing in my system. For one because I couldn’t be the most physically ill person at work and second the pressure of consecutive, non-stop meeting, presentation, planning and analysis had me captive. Moreover I’m apprehensive about not meeting my superiors expectation. So with all the whirlwind of equipping myself mentally and socially, I managed to fly.
This wasnt my first time to leave the country but still a part of me was anxious of possible things that could go wrong. Thankfully and much to my surprise a)the flight was on time b)there was minimal hassle and c) I landed safely in Narita dreaming at midflight with half awareness about things taking place.
With that I could say with great power comes great responsibility. But i can prove to you that you’ll know you’re doing the right thing when, even if you’re faced with the most difficult task, everything will take place spontaneously without unnecessary struggles.
My once-coveted wish of walking on the busiest intersection unfolded right before my eyes. Being at the epicenter of one of the most sophisticated, professional district in the world achieves in me a sense of fulfillment. Being surrounded by professional individuals; this might sound assuming on my part but I truly felt stiff bliss there. Something I’ve never felt in any of the place I’ve visited or lived. Not to mention how admirable their culture, discipline and more. At times I feel my genes must’ve been Japanese in the past because theirs is the identity i want to be.
Maybe one of the things I’m grateful for is the fact that my superiors and colleagues treats me exceedingly kind and generous. They value my value, the give me a voice, they listen to what I have to say and most of all they welcome my contributions- equally without any biases. I want to say its serendipity but no, somewhere deep within I have been dreaming scenarios like this and praying in confusion because I can’t quite put my finger on it. nor can I describe in words how I wished to be trudging on those pavements or waiting for that transit, or that cold misty air dampening my face. (or coming across decent people and discussing business proposals) I never thought of eating foie gras and drinking champagne in a fine dining restaurant wearing only jeans and sneakers while I’m at it.
But none of those matter much. i didn’t even bother taking a lot of photos- someone eager was doing it for me. Surprisingly, I wasn’t keen on impressing other people through posting filtered or otherwise pictures of where I stand and loops of what’s happening. I’m no longer trying hard to prove that my life is doing great because you know why? MY LIFE IS ACTUALLY DOING GREAT WITH OR WITHOUT “DOCUMENTATIONS”. The wonderful momentos, the extravagant landscape, the airplane wings, shoe photos- they’re stored somewhere more important for safe-keeping. I can proudly say I experienced the place- didn’t just acquired a photo of it.