Why honesty is such a lonely word.

8 reasons why people disagree with me

I can give you tons of reason why I’m OTT (over-the-head) and go against the flow of people’s opinion but let’s stick to 8 for now. Before you continue reading my post and because I don’t want you to hear it from someone else’s mouth – Yes, I am blunt. No need for you to strap me in a lie-detector test. I will give you a piece of my mind if I have to. I would even serve it in a dish for a complete presentation.

I was alarmed and decided to write about this topic today because somehow I noticed it has been the prevalent quality over which people determine me. If they we’re to rank my description I’m pretty sure words like straightforward, harsh, direct,frank even rude comes up first. and let me tell you why:

1. People dislike it when there’s no flowery remarks

As a Filipino, I can attest that we give in way too much to other people. Maybe it has something to do with hospitality.We wanna make sure that others are comfortable and they should feel good about themselves. But I seriously believe that a little more honesty can make this world a better place. Unnecessary flattery is one thing. Undignified bashing is another thing. We see so much negativity and foul behaviour in social media these days. But the right amount of modest honesty can make a difference. In the long run, you’re not helping, you’re just encouraging the false world the other one is dwelling.

2. I never beat around the bush

Small talk is my enemy. As an introvert, you would be appalled to learn that the reason for our sweat and discomfort is the fact that we have to answer the phone or reply to that “how’s it going?” question the manager asks when he visits. If only we can stop deceiving ourselves and get down to business. I can talk for hours about the dark matter that eats up my soul or we can stop pretending that the word “fine” is enough to make a conversation.

3. I refuse to fuel drama

You can like my audacity to speak my mind or you don’t. Either way we’re cool. What I would discreetly suggest is you stop creating issues about me that neither helps the both of us. Whenever I see people ranting on their facebook status about something or someone they’re pissed at, I get confused. Why do you have to do that indirectly? Why can’t you just face “it” head-on and make peace with it. The point is, stop making everything about you. If its not true, noteworthy or pure don’t entertain them! I mean, you will sleep better at night. You can thank me later.

Philippians 4:8New International Version (NIV)

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

4. I don’t guarantee niceness

I’m not sure if the Mormon statue in Lahug is 100% gold but what I can guarantee you is that I mean everything that I say. Half of them may not have a nice ring to it that’s because I DON’T FAKE RELATIONSHIPS. If you’re in my life then that’s because you’re worth keeping. You have to understand that being nice isn’t the same as being kind. There’s a facade you can eliminate (that’s another nonsense you have to get rid of) To be raw and real and sincere – that’s way much better than pretense. Everytime there’s a chance to be upfront, I’d take it. So should you.

5. The spirit of timidity

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7

I wasn’t the coolest kid in school nor am I popular with my colleagues. No sir. I was the brave soul who wasn’t afraid to mismatch clothes on a washday and refused to be bullied. When I started working abroad, we were all housed in an apartment building where it’s either you fight for your right or be a doormat for your Lebanese roommate who’s convinced that she’s the queen of all mankind. Certainly she believes that intimidation is the key to getting everything. So it seems that people walking in eggshells feeds her ego at most. That was my turning point. I learned a lesson at that time – Know where you stand and walk away from a narcissistic point of view.

6. They are attracted to bluffing

My friends (with the handful that remained through whatever) has witnessed first hand that bluffing is not found in my description. In a group of hundred mixed nationalities, I’m infamous for my classic no-nonsense opinion. Over the years, this might be my reason for being scorned and hated but you won’t see me crying over spilled milk. I do cry about the roadkilled puppy or the rain but never over what people think about me. There’s so much animosity in this world that I strongly don’t want to be a part of.

7. They believe honesty can lead to fighting

Honesty is never demeaning.The truth may hurt and its inescapable.The only way to deal with it is to COMMUNICATE BETTER According to Deb Dutilh “Studies show that a lack of communication is the number one reason couples get divorced.” If you tackle your points of disagreement, there’s no need to prove the other one is right and the latter is wrong. Respect each other’s opinion and again make peace with it. Acceptance will never sit quite right with you if there’s no honesty.

8.That honesty equates to rudeness

You can say that the food served by the waiter has a hair on it without demeaning his job. You can digress your lack of internet connection to the Technical Support on the other line without offending his morale. Note to self: Communicate better. Because at the end of the day, how you treat other people is a reflection of yourself – not them.

So there. You see….life is complicated but you have the choice to uncomplicate things. I can try to appease but I’d rather not tolerate behaviours that are not beneficial for all parties involved. I’ve outgrown the need to impress. I Say no more to the shallow life. It might be lonely when there’s nobody who can chorus with you and your ideas but it’s still a life taken on a higher road.

Do you want to hear the truth? Even when it hurts? Even when its hard? For a second there, think hard about what matters. Leave the propaganda to politicians and the show to Hollywood. But I implore you to be honest with yourself and to others.

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